Giants DC Martindale 'sleeping like a baby' ahead of Dolphins game: 'Every two hours I wake up and cry'

Miami’s offense is keeping opposing defensive coordinators up at night. Literally.

Ahead of a Week 5 matchup with the most feared attack in the league, New York Giants DC Don “Wink” Martindale gave personal insight into how difficult it is to plan for Mike McDaniel’s Dolphins.

“My wife called me last night before she went to bed. She said she was worried about me. She said, ‘Are you getting any sleep?'” Martindale told reporters on Thursday. “I said, ‘Yeah, I’m sleeping like a baby. Every two hours I wake up and cry and go to the bathroom and try to go back and get some more sleep.’

“It’s unbelievable, but that’s where this league’s heading with some of the other scores. The points have been up pretty high. I told our staff because we’re all old enough to remember the Greatest Show on Turf, this is like that, 2023, supersonic. I mean, they are fast, faster than that. … It’s not even turf there. It’s grass, and they’re still faster.”

It’s hard to blame Martindale for leaking his late-night bladder patterns to the press. The Dolphins have made DCs from Los Angeles to Foxborough look silly this season.

After dumping 70 points on the Broncos, Miami had DC Vance Joseph spiraling and defending his employment. Ahead of their Week 4 matchup with the Fins, Bills coach and defensive play-caller Sean McDermott joked about adding Usain Bolt to attempt to replicate the Dolphins’ speed. (Whatever Buffalo concocted worked: Miami was held to a season-low 20 points and 20 first downs in its first loss of the season.)

How does Martindale see the Dolphins’ offense ahead of Sunday? Look to the racetrack. Not Talladega. Your local Grand Prix.

“It’s tough to do, even though you think you can mimic it,” Martindale said of replicating Miami’s speed in practice. “That’s why they’re so successful on their first drives coming out is guys got to get used to the speed of the game and the speed of those guys.

“I don’t know the best way to describe it. It’s like if you were driving a Daytona NASCAR and tried to race against a Formula 1 guy. The guys are… They’re fast.”

The Dolphins are fast — and productive. Miami has the most total yards (2,044) through a team’s first four games in NFL history. The Fins lead the league in points per game (37.5), total yards per game (511) and passing yards per game (334.3). On the ground, they pace the NFL with 176.8 rushing YPG and 10 rushing TDs.

Meanwhile, the Giants have been a sieve in the running game, allowing 133.8 rushing YPG (25th) and seven scores (T-most), and rank 29th in average pass EPA allowed.

Sunday’s matchup looks rough for Martindale’s men. The DC needs all the sleep he can get.